Our coasters are made of high quality wood and engraved with a variety of clever sayings.  They make excellent gifts for any of your friends or loved ones!
A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me
A little bit sassy
After Tuesday even the calendar says WTF
And yet despite the look on my face you are still talking
Apparently, we are trouble together who knew
Back the fuck up sprinkle tits today is not the day I will shank you with my horn
Being an Adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done
Bitch I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you stop playing with me
Bitch Please
Buckle Up Buttercup you just flipped my witch switch
Classy with a side of sassy
Dear Karma I have a list of people you missed
Don't be rude to me, cause my rude will outrude your rude & you'll cry
Don't rush me I am waiting for the last minute
Feeling kinda idgaf-ish today
First of all no second of all still no
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone
Here we fucking go again... I mean good morning
Hey I found your nose it was in my business
I am a great multitasker I can listen ignore and forgot all at the same time
I am sweet, loveable, kind, shy, innocent... oh for heavens sake stop laughing
I am the Storm round
I can't be held responsible for what my face says when you speak
I didn't mean to push all your buttons I was looking for mute
I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today
I don't just ride the crazy train I drive it
I have a good heart but this mouth
I have it all together I just forgot where I put it
I love God but some of his children sure do get on my nerves
I may be wrong but I doubt it
I promise I am nicer than my face looks
I suffer from that disorder where I speak the truth and other get offended
I wish I was an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once
I wish I was a unicorn then I could stab idiots with my horn
If you met my family you would understand
I'll get over it I just need to be dramatic first
I'm emotionally constipated I haven't given a shit all day
I'm fine but the rest of you need therapy
I'm not actually funny I am  just mean and people think I must be joking
I'm sorry if I offended you with my common sense
Imma pray for you
It's a beautiful day to leave me alone
It's you problem not a me problem
It's fine I'm fine everything is fine
Just so we are clear idk. Idc. Oh yeah also IDGAF
Lazy is a strong word I prefer to call it "selective participation"
Monday should be optional
My life feels like a test I didn't study for
My rights don't end where your feelings begin
Not my pasture not my bullshit
Not today Heifer
Ringmaster of the shit show
Sarcasm I sprinkle that shit on everything
Sarcasm is my super power
Sarcasm is my love language
Sorry my nice button is out of order but my bite me button works just fine
Suck it up buttercup
That's a horrible idea lets do it
The change on my mood swing just broke
There's no need to repeat yourself I ignored you just fine the first time
Thou shall not try me mood 24/7
Total sasshole
Yes, I know I sweat a lot 1 I am sorry 2 I'll try to do better 3 Numbers 1&2 are lies
You inspire the inner serial killer in me